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So when people ask us about these major life events, they are also assuming that all couples have complete control of their marriage milestones. After Mike and I married, we spent a lot of time laying around, enjoying each other's company — and eating. After we married both of our savings evaporated, like magic. There is something about marriage that makes money disappear as quickly as it appears. 4.) I hate having long hair, but Mike dislikes short hair on me. I got the message, loud and clear, and my hair is back to being long. That's how we handle all the trivial (and significant) challenges of married life.
When we do that, we ultimately give up our power to be happy.
Of course, if we think someone is not a good influence or is vindictive in his deeds and words, we can choose to distance ourselves from that person. We can walk away, unfriend that person on Facebook, get a new job somewhere else, or not answer his phone calls.
If we are mindful and control our thoughts about how others act, we will not get annoyed. If we are mindless and judge someone’s actions or words to be negative, we will get annoyed.
In other words, we are giving them the key to our mood and happiness.
When someone says or does something, it is neutral.
It only becomes an annoyance if we think certain thoughts about his or her actions or words. You, on the other hand, have thoughts that deem his humming or his choice of song as being negative. Without your negative thoughts about his humming, the humming is neutral."Jilland Mike." Once people are used to a couple, your names become permanently merged. He failed to see the humor.) Yes, I am a feminist, a strong, independent woman, and I took my husband's last name. "Jennand Liam," "Jaimieand Vinny," and "Jimand Liz" are a few of our friends. I have been asked why numerous times — like I am selling out or losing my feminist cred. I wanted to have the same last name as my children. I was all about hitting our marriage milestones at pre-determined times until secondary infertility harshly interrupted our plans.All of us have been annoyed by someone else at some point in our lives.However, if my thoughts about his actions stay neutral, I will not get annoyed.Similarly, if a car pulls up next to you at a stop light and the driver is blasting music that you are not fond of, you have a choice.If you think to yourself, “that person is inconsiderate for blasting his stereo and his choice of music is terrible”, you will probably get annoyed.If, on the other hand, you realize and accept that this person simply likes different music than you do and he enjoys playing it loudly, then you will not get irritated by him. Most of the time the actions and words of others are neutral.When that happens, we are at the mercy of others and allow them to affect us negatively.Trying to change someone rarely works, as we all know. We only have power over ourselves and, specifically our thoughts and reaction. Very often, the other person does not intend to annoy us.