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I ask the client to imagine what this highest or best self advises them to do.This process of visualizing a separation or detachment from the current [or] suffering self often helps clients tap into the wisdom that already lies within them — their highest self — to promote healing.
As Marter said, “Our mistakes and our imperfections are not bad or wrong or failures–they are the fingerprints of humanity and opportunities for learning, healing and growth.”7. “Many of our problems with self-acceptance come from our inability to reconcile who we are as compared with the idealized dreams of our youth,” Howes said.
Maybe you dreamed about becoming an Olympic athlete or a multi-millionaire or staying married forever or having a big family, he said.
For many people self-acceptance is hard to come by on a good day. On a bad day, when you’ve made a mistake or two, don’t like how you look or feel absolutely miserable, your self-acceptance is in shards.
Fortunately, self-acceptance is something we can nurture.
They think their inner critic is simply speaking the truth.
But if you wouldn’t say it to a loved one, it’s not honesty or sincerity. To quiet your inner critic, Marter suggested choosing a realistic mantra.
“I believe in the power of mantra and encourage clients to select a mantra that is normalizing, calming and encouraging during times when the inner critic rears its ugly head,” she said.
For example, you could use: “I am only human, I am doing the best that I can and that is all I can do,” she said.
Instead, “Surround yourself with people who accept you and believe in you,” she said.5. Past regrets can prevent us from practicing self-acceptance. “Whether it’s about something you’ve done or a personality quirk that resulted in a social faux pas, it’s important to learn from the mistake, make efforts to grow, and accept that you can’t change the past,” Howes said.
When the tinges of remorse resurface, remember these words, he said: “I made the best decision with information I had at the time.” “The behavior or decision might not seem correct in hindsight, but at the time it seemed like the best choice,” Howes added.6. Many people equate their inner critic with a voice of reason.